Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
