Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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