she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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