Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
