thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
