If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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