hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
