What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
