i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize