brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Bring me that man meat
I just forgot I was standing up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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