i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Randomize
