But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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