in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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