I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
