I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
