okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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