whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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