i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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