Pants 0. Shit 1.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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