This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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