Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize