apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
