guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
