If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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