as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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