Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
