Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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