Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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