He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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