you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
