hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
