got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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