Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
