I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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