I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
