this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
