My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
