I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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