All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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