does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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