I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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