This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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