Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
