all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
