Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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