I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
