I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
