Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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