im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
