Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How external is "for external use only"?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
