You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
