dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
