omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Randomize
