i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
