i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have tasted many bathrooms
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
