i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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