We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
