Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
