let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize