alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
