the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
