I think i peed on brittanys purse
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
