i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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