that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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