dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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