i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
