I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize