Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
