I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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