Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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