So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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