The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
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