Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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