Its about making memories worth repressing
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Slut skills are useful in every country.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
